Who knew? Garels can be hot AND smart

For more HOT! garels, take a walk on the wild side here.

And if you like that, you’re sure to like this.

And here’s an interesting article about why garels like funny guys – evidently, we’re not that funny.

Mentally weak men lacking morals are likely to be afficted w/this feeble condition.

Wait, let us guess. You be frownin’ because your puny little “man” started complaining of an itty, bitty sex headache? What a (snaggle)puss(y)! He probably thought it was an aneurysm, too! For medical assistance concerning this “ailment,” the Mayo Clinic is always a helpful resource…and, conveniently enough, we hear they have a location close to the campus of Duke University.

Got Napkin Doodles?

Oh Blanket, my sweet little Blanket

If Avian influenza had a face, it would look like this (or this, minus the feathers). Avian influenza is an infection caused by bird viruses thought to have originated on or around the Neverland Valley Ranch. It can make chickens, ducks, and turkeys very sick and sometimes dead. Symptoms in humans have ranged from a cough, sore throat, and muscle aches to naming your child Blanket.

For previous installments of If Diseases Had Faces, click here.

SATURDAY – The Hills star Lauren Conrad throws out the first pitch at Dodger Stadium.  While we’d rather see Lauren naked, Mr. T’s performance at Wrigley Field tops hers in our book of celebrity appearances at baseball games.  Yep, we’ve got a book on that.  

SUNDAY – Roger Federer tops Robin Soderling in straight sets to win his first French Open title.  The win ties him with Pete Sampras with his 14^th career Grand Slam.  Federer is still no match for Sampras in the chest hair battle, however.

MONDAY – Professional poker player and apparent genius Phil Ivey wins an estimated $12 million in side bets alone in a World Series of Poker event in Las Vegas.  In related news, we’re shutting down NTG operations next week to focus on beginning our poker careers.

TUESDAY – The dismal Washington Nationals draft much-hyped San Diego State pitcher Stephen Strasburg.  Manager Manny Acta has announced that once Strasburg is signed he will pitch every remaining inning of the 2009 season.

WEDNESDAY – Chad Eightyfive pulls a Mike Tyson and gets his face tatted up.  We’re not sure if the OC between his eyes is for “Ochocinco” or for Chad’s all-time favorite TV show, The OC.

THURSDAY – Keeping in the theme of athletes that make more money than you can even count to, soccer cutie Cristiano Ronaldo is headed to Real Madrid in a record $131 million transfer from Manchester United.  To top it all off, Ronaldo was seen hooking up with professional whore Paris Hilton.  No word on if the couple plans to release a sex tape anytime soon.

FRIDAY – The Pittsburgh Penguins and Detroit Red Wings square off in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals.  Tune in tonight to see some of the greatest mullets in the world, led by ESPN’s Barry Melrose.

This is so embarrassing - we are wearing the exact same underwear!

So we don’t know why this garel is dancing, and we don’t care.  We don’t even need to see her face. She is wonderful and we are in love.

For more HOT! garels, click here!

Also, if you like hot garels, you probably like funny and weird things too, so check this before you wreck this.

LOUIS:  So I was literally 90 seconds away from my house when out of nowhere this pig pulls me over and gives me a ticket.  Would ya believe that, Larry???

LITERAL LARRY:  A pig gave you a ticket?  Say WAHHH?!?

(See all of Literal Larry’s misunderstandings here.)